Thursday, June 16, 2011

Expectations

My expectations for other people are admittedly very high. 
I've been told often that they are too high. 
I've been told that I need to not be so hard on people. 
Told to relax my standards.   

The people who have told me these thing maybe misunderstand my brand of high expectations.

They do not think that I hold other people to the same standards to which I hold myself. 
They confuse my high expectations with the inability to forgive or give second chances or the knowledge that everyone makes mistakes. 
They think that just because I have high expectations I am judgmental or cannot see beyond expectations to the imperfect human underneath.
They think that I cannot love someone who does not meet each and every expectation I have for that person.

I get where these misunderstandings come from. 
But I make no apologies for my high expectations and I will not compromise on them. 
If I do, that will mean compromising on the goals and standards I have set for myself and spent years, if not decades, striving to meet. 
I know that I'm not perfect and that I fail regularly. 
But, that doesn't mean I lower the bar for myself. 
I'm not going to do it for other people either.

All that being said, before I begin developing my expectations for Blake as a father or Audrey as a child, daughter and person, I think I do need to work on explaining (at least to myself) how persistent high expectations can coexist with unconditional love, patience, and forgiveness. 
I know that they can because that is what God is. 
I know that it will be hard to accomplish perfectly because that is what God is.

Here's to doing things that are hard.

Kate

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