Monday, June 11, 2012

Full-Time Pluto, Planet or Not

There are a hundred genres of blogs. There are the scholarly ones where folks debate things like the planethood of Pluto. There are the do-it-yourself ones where people with lots of time and creativity show you how to do stuff. There are those published by corporationslaw firms, and not-profit organizations that promote goods, services, and causes. And then...

There are the mommy blogs. Milions and millions of mommy blogs. Of those, I read about three regularly - checking for updates daily from my desk while wolfing down my lean cuisine lunch. And there are a handful of others that I catch up on from time to time (when I have time). These blogs are as different as the moms who write them. There's the crazy-funny-hippie mom blog, the local-fighting-depression-great-photographer mom blog, and the young-Christian-trite-humor mom blog. The one thing that all of these mom blogs have in common (other than being written by moms) is that the moms are stay-at-homers. In fact, I am having a hard time thinking of one single mom blog that I've ever read that is written by a mom who works outside of the home.

I mean, I know that being a stay-at-home-mom is work. I know that a mom's job is never done. I know that stay-at-homers are, like a lot of moms with careers outside the home, underpaid and overworked. I totally cringed when I heard that Democrat make her tasteless comment about Mitt Romney's wife "never working a day in her life." I was glad that our President (or at least his staff and/or our First Lady) were smart enough to distance his camp from that woman. And I applauded Wendy Goffe, a busy lawyer and mom, for her article that attempted to dispel some of the myths surrounding stay-at-home moms.

But, I'm still jealous and judgey sometimes about stay-at-home moms. I'm not saying that I necessarily want to be one, or that I'd even have the patience or energy to if given the chance. But, on difficult days preceded by super early mornings and middle-of-the-night crying fests, and on days when Audrey is sick and can't go to school, I dream about being a stay-at-homer. When I am searching for pressed dress pants and ironically only finding clean sweats and sports bras, I wish I were preparing to settle in for a long morning of reading Brown Bear Brown Bear on the floor with Audrey rather than case law at my computer in my horribly uncomfortable office chair (in rumpled pants).

But, whatever. My life is what it is right now. A crazy constellation of obligations and opportunities. I know I'm missing stuff that Audrey does and learns. I know that I'm putting a lot of my time and energy into my work instead of my family. That some days I'm out of orbit. But I, like ALL moms - working or not - love and think about my baby all day every day. And, whether I work outside the home or not, I'm a full time mom. There is nothing "part-time" about how much I do for her, think about her, and love her.

And I think that most of us moms just do the best we can with what we have. The key is to not take it for granted. To not wish away the buried blessings. To not live so in the moment that we can't see the big picture. The forest for the trees. The universe for its moving parts.

All easier said than done. But, I'm up for giving it a go. I think it will make me happier if I can learn to just be thankful for what I have rather than wishful for what I don't. Want to help me? Two things you can do: (1) send me links to working mom blogs you like so I can learn how those moms wean their babies and manage cloth diapering and daycare and (2) up my numbers and formally "follow" my blog. Both may help me to pursue my Pluto, planet or not.

Thank you,

1 comment:

  1. I've been the stay-at-home mom and the working mom. I know - that I am a better mom & wife…and an overall happier person when I'm working. It doesn't make me (or you) a bad mom for working…it just makes things like laundry & cooking a little bit less of a priority.

    I follow a working mom blogger called: The Heir to Blair. You'll like her! She's funny!